


The Only Thing on the Menu

by thirdmonday



Category: Pundit RPF
Genre: 2012 Presidential Election, Gen, Romney Victory AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-18
Updated: 2013-02-18
Packaged: 2017-11-29 16:32:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/689079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thirdmonday/pseuds/thirdmonday
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The PRT copes with a Romney victory as only they know how.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Only Thing on the Menu

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Roscavenbar](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Roscavenbar/gifts).



The November 7, 2012, meeting of the Pundit Round Table is a somber affair. Anderson is the last to arrive, and when he approaches the table, he finds that none of his typically-animated lunch-slash-early-dinner companions are in their usual high spirits, so he tries to lighten the mood by opening with a joke.

"Who died?" he asks as he rests his hands on the back of the empty chair.

"Our Akita, Evita," Keith says, perfectly deadpan, without looking up.

Stephen turns to look at Keith. "Rent? Really? Does this mean you're over your Book of Mormon phase?"

Jon groans. "Please don't say 'Mormon.' We're all facing four years – minimum – of bad Mormon jokes."

"Not to mention dog carrier on the wing of Air Force One gags," Stephen says.

Anderson frowns as he takes his seat. "You're complaining about having easy material?"

"Easy material begets dumb comedy," Jon explains. "Which, don't get me wrong, I love dumb comedy, but not when it's the only thing on the menu. We're still detoxing from eight years of 'Bush is stupid' jokes, but now we're cutting that short and switching to the 'Mitt is Mormon' diet. It even has alliteration. Comedy is doomed."

"How long is Leno's contract?" Stephen asks.

Silence falls over the table as they pause to contemplate four years of Tonight Show monologues featuring President Romney jokes. Jon turns slightly green and pushes his salad plate away, still half full of ranch-soaked vegetables.

"Looks like I got out of the news business just in time," Keith says, breaking the silence. It might be a joke. It's hard to tell.

Anderson puts his arms on the table and leans forward to look down the table at Rachel, who hasn't said a word. "What about you?" he asks.

She looks up from the act of stirring her spoon around and around in her soup and blinks, startled by Anderson's presence. Frowning, she says, "What about me?"

"You lived in Massachusetts while Romney was governor."

"Yeah." Rachel fills up her soupspoon and dumps its contents back into the bowl. "So?" she asks, filling and dumping her spoon again.

"You're still... alive." Anderson is hesitant to choose a more positive adjective given her current mood. "Shouldn't you be telling us it's not that bad?"

"Nope." Rachel lifts her spoon, overturns it, and watches the soup pour back into the bowl. She returns the spoon to her bowl to fill it up again. "It's not nice to lie."

Keith reaches out and grabs Rachel's spoon while Stephen waves down a passing server. "Can we get an Irish coffee over here?" he asks.

"Irish coffee?" Rachel asks, frowning at Stephen even while she tries to wrestle her spoon back from Keith. She's distracted enough that Keith pulls the spoon completely out of her grasp and sets it at the far end of the table.

"Caffeine and alcohol in one glass," Stephen says with a nod, the corner of his mouth twitching slightly.

Jon groans, and everyone turns to look at him.

"What?" Anderson asks.

"That drink order," Jon says, pointing to Stephen, "was the official start of bad Mormon joke season."

Stephen beams.


End file.
